There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
