That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
