Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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