Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Green mimosas i think yes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
