no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
