He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
