hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Randomize
