Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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