I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize