I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
