all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
