I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
