dude i'm inner monologue high
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize