is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
