Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
