just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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