i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
