Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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