you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
