I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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