guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
