my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you win again, gameday.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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