drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
