i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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