Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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