He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Having a random hookup so left but love u
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
