so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
