sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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