sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
