Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
