Me. At least after what I've been through.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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