The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
