She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
