Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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