"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
