did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
