it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
