Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ttyl tear gas
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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