why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You pole danced in your parka.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
