There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
