No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
