Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it penis luge time yet?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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