is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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