I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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