As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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