ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
