Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
