Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
