once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
