so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
