Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
