You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
