I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
