what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
