i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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