hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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