Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
