Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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