I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize