i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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