At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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