im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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