Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
