Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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