Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
