i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
