Whod you bang
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
