Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
