Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
