I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
