I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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