i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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