Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
